The pause begins the moment you remember to stop what you are doing and take a breath. It helps you ground yourself so that you are in the right zone where you can feel your feelings, think clearly, and act wisely – where you have access to your full capacities.

Here you start with self-awareness and self-empathy: tuning into the many channels arising within you: body sensations, emotions, desires, fears, and any impulses to fight, flee, freeze, etc. Then you sense the core needs that are alive in this moment: needs for safety, connection, autonomy, rest, etc.

Now you may be in a place to think more clearly, and you can choose to think nonviolently. A variety of thinking lenses helps you to understand yourself and the context better. Slowing down allows you to think through the likely impact of your words, before you utter them.

There are many other nonviolent practices you can do now. You may want to invite the other party into a dialogue, express yourself vulnerably, and hear them out. You may make specific requests or set clear boundaries. You may also challenge others or the larger system.